TL;DR
Therapy doesn’t have to last forever. If progress has stalled, the fit isn’t right, your goals have changed, or life circumstances make it hard to continue, it may be time to review, adjust, pause, or end well. A planned ending protects the gains you’ve made.
Why think about ending therapy?
Therapy can be immensely helpful—a safe place to explore thoughts, feelings and patterns, and to practise coping skills. But needs change. Reviewing therapy from time to time ensures it continues to serve you.
Signs it might be time to pause, switch, or end
Each sign below includes what it looks like, what to try, and when to consider a change—so you can respond rather than react.
1) Progress has stalled
Looks like: After several sessions, you feel stuck; goals feel vague; changes aren’t showing up between sessions.
Try: Revisit or sharpen goals; agree measurable markers (sleep, mood, avoidance, communication); adjust frequency or approach.
Consider change if: After ~8–12 sessions with tweaks, no movement on agreed markers.
2) The fit doesn’t feel right (rapport issues)
Looks like: You don’t feel understood; sessions feel flat or tense; it’s hard to be honest.
Try: Name it in session; ask for a different pace or style.
Consider change if: You’ve raised this and still feel unheard—seek a therapist who’s a better match. A good fit is essential.
3) Your therapist’s expertise isn’t aligned with your needs
Looks like: Important issues (e.g., trauma, OCD, eating difficulties) aren’t addressed effectively.
Try: Ask about referral options or integrating a specialist approach.
Consider change if: Your needs are outside their scope—switch to someone with the right training.
4) Affordability is a strain
Looks like: Fees cause ongoing stress or you’re skipping essentials.
Try: Ask about sliding scale, spacing sessions, group formats, or blended support (self-guided work between sessions).
Consider change if: Financial pressure outweighs benefits—plan a pause with a maintenance strategy.
5) You feel complete for now
Looks like: Your initial goals are met; you’re practising skills independently; sessions feel like diminishing returns.
Try: A consolidation phase (fortnightly/monthly) to test skills in the wild.
Consider change if: You’re sustaining gains without relying on sessions—time for a thoughtful ending.
6) You feel uncomfortable—or unsafe
Looks like: The process feels persistently unsafe, or there are boundary concerns.
Try: If possible, raise concerns; request adjustments.
Consider change if: You cannot safely address it—contact their professional body and end therapy.
7) Sessions feel like a friendly catch-up
Looks like: Lots of pleasant chat, little movement on goals.
Try: Refocus on goals or agree a brief, time-limited block with clear outcomes.
Consider change if: The work keeps drifting—pause or end.
8) Excessive therapist self-disclosure
Looks like: They talk about themselves or other clients too much; you feel sidelined.
Try: Name the impact: “I notice we spend time on your experiences; I’d like more focus on mine.”
Consider change if: The pattern continues—seek a therapist who keeps the focus on you.
Quick decision checklist
Take a look at what’s true right now:
- [ ] I can name 2–3 concrete goals I’m still working on.
- [ ] I’ve seen meaningful change in the past month.
- [ ] I feel safe and understood most sessions.
- [ ] The cost/benefit currently feels worth it.
- [ ] I know what success and ending well would look like.
If you selected fewer than three, it’s a good time to review and decide whether to adjust, pause, or end.
How to review therapy constructively
- Name what’s working/not working. Bring examples.
- Refresh goals. Make them specific, realistic, time-bound.
- Adjust the frame. Frequency, length or approach.
- Set a review point. e.g., “Let’s reassess in four sessions.”
Ending well: a simple 4-step plan
- Signal early. Let your therapist know you’re considering ending.
- Consolidate. Review skills, insights, and early-warning signs of relapse.
- Plan maintenance. Space sessions, create a self-care plan, list supports (friends, GP, groups, helplines).
- Goodbye session. Reflect on progress and what you’ll do if things wobble.
Tip: If you’re pausing due to cost or time, agree a return plan: signs to watch for and how to re-contact.
Alternatives and complements to therapy
- Self-guided work: worksheets, journalling prompts, psychoeducation.
- Peer or support groups: shared experience, accountability.
- Lifestyle foundations: sleep, movement, nutrition, connection.
FAQ
Is it “quitting” if I stop?
No. Ending is part of the process. Stopping when your needs change is a sign of progress.
What if I’m scared to raise this?
You can write a note or email before your session to set the agenda. A good therapist will welcome the conversation.
Can I take a break and return later?
Yes. Many people pause, practise skills, then return for a focused block when needed.
If you’d like help reviewing or ending therapy, you can book a free 15-minute consultation to map your next steps.