If you are used to keeping everyone else happy, you may barely notice your own needs until resentment or exhaustion kicks in.
Counselling provides a calm momùent in the week to hear yourself think and practise boundaries that honour connection without self-sacrifice.
Everyday signs of people-pleasing
- Saying yes automatically, then feeling overwhelmed.
- Worrying others will think you are selfish if you set limits.
- Overanalysing conversations to check if you upset someone.
- Offering support even when you are depleted.
- Struggling to make decisions based on what you want.
- Feeling guilty when you rest or take time for yourself.
Why boundaries can feel risky
People-pleasing often develops as a survival strategy—perhaps within families where harmony was prized, in workplaces with high expectations, or in cultures where obedience was rewarded.
Challenging those patterns can trigger anxiety about rejection, conflict, or losing your place in a group. Without someone to validate your needs, it is easy to revert to old habits.
How counselling helps you honour your needs
In therapy we identify the beliefs that keep you saying yes, practise language for setting boundaries, and celebrate the discomfort that accompanies change.
Weekly sessions give you regular chances to check in, reflect on experiments, and stay accountable to the life you want.
Approaches we may draw on
- Pluralistic therapy to blend emotional processing with practical scripts.
- Compassion-focused work to counter guilt and self-criticism.
- Attachment-informed exploration to understand relational fears.
- Somatic awareness to notice body signals that boundaries are being crossed.
Support for men learning to set boundaries
Men can be socialised to provide and protect at all costs. We explore how to balance care for others with self-respect, and how to communicate needs without fearing loss of status or affection.
Affirming support for LGBTQ+ people-pleasers
Queer and trans clients may feel pressure to prove their worth or keep family peace. We acknowledge these realities while practising boundaries that keep you safe and connected to supportive communities.
Boundaries counselling FAQs
Will setting boundaries damage my relationships?
We look at how to communicate boundaries with care and anticipate different responses. Every relationship is unique, so we cannot predict exactly how others will react but the hope is that by having healthier boundaries, you will develop healthier relationships.
Can therapy help me say no at work?
We can plan conversations with managers or colleagues and develop language that feelsauthentic, professional and firm.
What if I feel guilty after setting a boundary?
Guilt is a normal part of change. We explore where it comes from and create rituals for self-soothing.
Do you provide scripts or role-plays?
If helpful, we can role-play conversations in session and co-create wording that fits your tone.
Next steps
Book a consultation to discuss how people-pleasing affects your life. If we continue working together, you will have a weekly session at the same time to practise boundaries, reflect on wins, and process setbacks.